Chesterton on Motherhood

At the end of this school year I am staying home! No more 9 to 5 while my sweet little ones are in day care. As a school teacher, I have had the blessings of summer vacations and holiday breaks with my boys, but I've always known that I would eventually have to head back to work. The breaks would end too quickly, and we would resume life as usual. My husband announced to me a few months ago that this would be my last year working. It took several weeks to sink in, and even now, I have a hard time believing it's true. I've been thinking a lot on motherhood, and how so many of the stay-at-home moms I meet seem to get so burnt out. They struggle with isolation. They feel guilty that they aren't earning a paycheck. They resent losing their identity. I'm not sure why this has happened to so many of my friends, but their honesty has helped me to realize that I need to guard against these things.

This brings me to Chesterton. (obviously)

While an undergraduate, I was very briefly a member of the "Montgomery Chesterton Society." I specify very briefly because I attended all of 4 meetings. Fortunately, this was enough for me to be exposed to G.K. Chesterton's genius. I have always loved what he had to say about wives and mothers. This is such an encouragement to me as I consider the higher calling of motherhood:

It is not difficult to see why...the female became the emblem of the
universal ...natural operation surrounded her with very young children, who
require to be taught not so much anything as everything. Babies need not to be
taught a trade, but to be introduced to a world. To put the matter shortly,
woman is generally shut up in a house with a human being at the time when he
asks all the questions that there are, and some that there aren't. It would be
odd if she retained any of the narrowness of a specialist. ...But when people
begin to talk about this domestic duty as not merely difficult but trivial and
dreary, I simply give up the question. For I cannot with the utmost energy of
imagination conceive what they mean. When domesticity, for instance, is called
drudgery, all the difficulty arises from a double meaning in the word. If
drudgery only means dreadfully hard work, I admit the woman drudges in the home,
as a man might drudge at the Cathedral of Amiens or drudge behind a gun at
Trafalgar. But if it means that the hard work is more heavy because it is
trifling, colorless and of small import to the soul, then as I say, I give it
up; I do not know what the words mean. To be Queen Elizabeth within a definite
area, deciding sales, banquets, labors and holidays; to be Whiteley within a
certain area, providing toys, boots, sheets cakes. and books, to be Aristotle
within a certain area, teaching morals, manners, theology, and hygiene; I can
understand how this might exhaust the mind, but I cannot imagine how it could
narrow it. How can it be a large career to tell other people's children about
the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one's own children about the
universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be
everything to someone? No; a woman's function is laborious, but because it is
gigantic, not because it is minute I will pity Mrs. Jones for the hugeness of
her task; I will never pity her for its smallness.

You can't please everyone...

Owen Ray and I picked up Frog and Toad Are Friends from the library. We absolutely love it! Seriously, this book is adorable. No wonder it's still on the shelf after being published 41 years ago. This edition of Frog and Toad is comprised of five short stories that affirm the blessings of true friendship. Frog and Toad go for walks, wait for mail deliveries, and retrieve lost buttons together. They are the best of buddies and demonstrate this through acts of kindness and the occasional shared cup of tea.

One day in summer Frog was not feeling well.

Toad said, "Frog, you are looking quite green."

"But I always look green," said Frog. "I am a frog."

"Today you look very green even for a frog," said Toad. "Get into my bed and rest." Toad made Frog a cup of hot tea.

Since this is a library book that will soon have to be returned, I headed over to Amazon to find out how much it would cost to purchase. I would like to have it as a part of Owen Ray's permanent library. I was surprised to see that amid the 100+ five star reviews for this Caldecott Honor book, was this little gem. It just goes to show, you can't please everyone.

City Mouse/Country Mouse

Today I read "The Country Mouse and the City Mouse" to Owen Ray. Of all the stories in our Tall Book of Nursery Tales, this is the one I was the most unfamiliar with. However, I think it's my new favorite.

When the city mouse comes to visit his country cousin he says "You do not live well at all. Why you should see how I live! I have fine things to eat every day." The country mouse is immediately ashamed of his simple home.

In some loosely connected way, this seems to be just where Trey and I are at. This is our first month using the "envelope system" to manage our money. We are having to say "no" to things we've always said "yes" to because it simply isn't in our budget. We have a goal that we want to achieve each month, a particular amount that we plan to pay toward debt. However, this goal requires sacrifice on our part. As I think about our culture of debt and consumerism, I do feel like the little country mouse who is made to feel ashamed that he is living within his means rather than beyond his means.

The end of the story is reassuring, however. After narrowly escaping a frightened cook, a hungry cat, and a tempting trap, the country mouse is sure that the city is not the place for him.

"I think I will go home," he said. "I'd rather have barley and grain and eat it in peace, than have brown sugar and cheese and eat in fear."

While this "nursery tale" is not meant to be a philosophical treatise, I can't help but consider the implications of this conclusion. The country mouse has realized that genuine rest and peace come from enjoying that which we have diligently worked for. The country mouse learns that the nuts, barley, and crumbs he has gathered in preparation for the winter are more satisfying than the brown sugar and dried cherries that his city dwelling cousin steals from the kitchen cupboard at leisure. It is not too much of a stretch to say that the country mouse has learned the truth behind the proverb "Lazy hands make for poverty, but diligent hands bring wealth." (Proverbs 10:4)

Rubber Ducky Woes

Sometimes a rubber ducky causes more trouble than should ever be possible. After moving aside Owen Ray's dresser to vaccuum, I discovered the carpet was soaked. Why? I wasn't sure, but his room is adjacent to the shower, and this seemed the likeliest culprit. I called a plumber who confirmed that a shower valve leak behind the shared wall was probably causing the wet carpet in Ray's room. The plumber showed up ready to do some serious repairs. I showed him to the bathroom, and he immediately pointed out the culprit... which was not a valve... it was a duck.

The price of this duck just went from a few bucks to $$$. It turns out that by using a faucet cover that is not specifically designed for our faucet, we were inadvertently causing water to be pushed back up the pipes, resulting in a leak behind the wall. Our plumber shared that he has been to at least 40 homes where these little guys have been the root cause of all the bathroom plumbing issues. We took his advice and said goodbye to the ducky.

Kansas Children's Discovery Center

Today we made a visit to the recently opened Kansas Children's Discovery Center. Overall, my impression was favorable. There were at least a dozen different activities for kids to enjoy, and each center allowed them to explore a different facet: art, music, auto tech, science, carpentry, engineering, etc. It was pretty clear once we arrived that the target age group was a bit older than Owen Ray and Chandler, but they had taken pains to make sure that they had something for children of all ages, including babies and toddlers. The staff was great with the kids, and I was really impressed to learn that they were all volunteers.

Our Visit to the Topeka Zoological Park

Yesterday the boys and I had a very kick-back day. I tried to recover from the fractured sleep I'd gotten the night before. It appears Owen Ray is not able to sleep in one spot. He rolls around all night long and sometimes even talks in his sleep. This makes for one tired mama come morning time. As a result, we lolled around the apartment for the better half of the day.

Owen Ray, however, had not forgotten my promise to go to the zoo. So after nap time I loaded the boys up in the car and we made the 10 minute drive to the Topeka Zoological Park. It was well worth the $5.75 it cost for admission. They had lions, giraffes, elephants, monkeys, and an adorable baby hippo. Ray loves animals, and the compact nature of Topeka's zoo allowed him to get closer to the animals than he can at the Fort Worth Zoo. We went into the enclosed Rainforest exhibit, and he could hear the birds overhead. He pointed up at the "birdies" and I was freaked out to see a whole cluster of bats hanging upside down. Those winged creatures just make me shudder. I obviously need to read through Stellaluna a few more times. We rounded a corner in the rainforest and Owen Ray found himself just a foot and a half from a flamingo! He was thrilled to get to see the large bird up close, but he didn't dare touch it. Do flamingos attack? I guess neither of us wanted to find out. All in all it was another beautiful day in Topeka ;)

School's out... again

The 2010-2011 school year has finally come to a close, but it was such a whirlwhind I hardly realized it. Now I'm sitting here wondering how it all went down.

A recap: I have the 2nd coolest job ever. I teach English as a Second Langauge to a diverse group of students who have varying degress of proficiency in the English language. While their English might be limited, they seem to have a never ending supply of creativity, motivation, and gratitude. In addition, they are brilliant. This makes my job super easy. As one of the ESL coordinators, I also get to do a fair amount of record keeping, testing, data entry, and filing which I also find to be satisfying work. There is something almost delicious about striking through all the items on a checklist, and that is what ESL paperwork is for me. Writing down a list of all the things that need to be gathered, analyzed, and finalized, and then watching that list get smaller and smaller until it finally disappears. I have a superior administrator and a master teacher colleague who make my job nearly effortless. Now that the year is over, I am already looking forward to meeting those newcomers that will be on our campus next year; the students who have just arrived in the United States and are desperately hoping that someone is going to take an active interest in them and not let them fall through the cracks.

However, now that the 2nd coolest job in the world is on hiatus for the summer, I can fully devote myself to the #1 coolest job, being a mother. Can I confess to you that this task is so much more daunting, demanding, and draining than being out in the work force full time? I've had to manage a class of 35 unruly 9th graders before. I did it; and I did it fairly well. It is an entirely different animal to manage a 2 year old and a 6 month old. But why?

Ultimately, I am not responsible for the students in my class; their parents are. I may see a student for 50 minutes a day, every day, but that is nothing compared to the formative, life-molding experiences that those kids are (or are not) having in their home. This is somewhat comforting when it comes to my classroom students, but terrifying when it comes to my own kids. The buck stops here, my friend.

I have a divine commission from God to raise up my own children in "the way that they should go". That's not even overstating. That's a solid truth. I really am accountable before God to wisely, reflectively, lovingly rear these little ones in the fear and admonition of the Lord. It is the role of a lifetime; and it inspires fear. While the ultimate outcome rests in God, the daily "raising" and "rearing" are very much expected of me.

What does this mean for me this summer? It means that I need to be ready to battle with sins of laziness, complacency, and wastefulness. I will have more time than ever with my boys, but how am I going to use that time? It means I need to try harder to be reflective, something that does not come naturally for me. I'm afraid the unexamined life is just the status quo as I watch it flit happily by. It also means that I need to continue to pray for moments, moments of time between an action and my response where I think, really think, about what the best course of action is... when Owen Ray throws a fit (in public or in private), when he's jealous, hurt, joyous, frustrated, elated.