Ready for Chandler

Problem: Without going into the full story, last night I was having some pretty uncomfortable contractions. I never went into natural labor with Owen Ray because I was induced, so these suckers caught me off guard. Now, it turned out to just be the early labor contractions that are typical before your body goes into active labor, but all the same, they had me pretty freaked out. Why? Because I have not mentally prepared for the birth of this second baby. With my first pregnancy, I did all the prerequisite reading and pre-planning. I had the nursery ready to go long before his arrival. With this pregnancy, I was feeling pretty excited that he had a crib and was not stressed that we did not yet have other nursery furniture. "So what if his things are in plastic tubs? I have all the time in the world to get things ready before his arrival." Last night, I completely changed my mind. Suddenly, it felt like I did not have all the time in the world. I felt awful that he did not have a going home outfit. Nevermind the fact that millions and millions of babies have made it just fine in life without a going home outfit. In that moment, I cried to my husband that I was not prepared to have this baby, and I was a terrible mother because it has just hit me that this little munchkin is actually going to meet and greet us in the next couple weeks, and I am not ready.
Solution: This morning Trey and I woke up early to pick up an awesome changing table in Watauga (thank you, Craigslist). I spent the rest of the morning going through baby bins and figuring out what I had (and didn't have). I set up the changing station which is now ready with the cutest, tiniest little diapers in the world. My wonderful husband picked out a special going home outfit for our little guy and got some necessities like pacifiers that I had totally forgotten. Why has all this restored my confidence as a mother? It's ridiculous, but actually going through the motions of folding baby blankets and stacking newborn diapers has allowed me to process the fact that Chandler is real, and Chandler is about to make his debut.